Reflection

Something I have always had a hard time doing is just that - stop and reflect. I can't slow down - I can't get my brain to slow down...to analyze, to think, to look ahead and plan. I'm not a goal-setter. I live in the moment. I find it hard to see the future and I often have no interest in looking back at the past. For some people this seems so easy - they can focus, think, and act. I get stuck on the focusing and thinking parts.

I need to set some goals for myself - but I'm lost. My health, my family, my job...I live in the day-to-day and my wheels are spinning. I bought a Franklin Covey planner - it came yesterday. I have used these before but abandoned paper when I got my first Palm. Now I think there's room (and need) for both. I eagerly put all the pages in place, then started reading the guide as a refresher. I never used the system to its potential in the past, so why not start now? There they were again - analyze - goals - roles - my brain started to shut down, my eyes started to glaze over - this is going to be WORK and I can't focus on it. blah.

So here I am writing in my deserted blog, trying to clear my head enough that I can get to work on planning for the weeks and months ahead - so that I will be more productive and less stressed. We'll see...

I worked on the grill tonight - I had bought replacement parts - a burner bar, a warming rack, and an ignitor. It's been raining all week so I haven't been able to go outside to work on it - but this afternoon we saw some sun, so I jumped at the chance. All went smoothly until I got to the ignitor. What a piece of junk. I got it installed but by then it had started to rain again and I couldn't get the thing to light. I don't know if it was faulty or just wet - but I took it apart and put it together again about a dozen times. The grill will light with a match, so I know it's not the burner. Oh well - even if I can never get the ignitor to work, the rest of the grill is like new.

On a totally different note, it's quiet at the moment. All I hear is the hum of the ceiling fan and the clicking of my daughter's fingers on the computer keyboard upstairs. The puppy is snoring so quietly. We were having a thunderstorm but it seems to have passed. Everything outside is green, and night is falling. I sigh. Peace. Maybe I'll go pull out that planner.