One week down...

So I've made it through my first week on WW. I didn't really eat according to plan, but did manage to eat better and keep my portions in check. The main problem was that I worked three days in a row at the mountain and though they provide lunch, it's not exactly Core.

Week two is starting off on a better note. I've used a few of my reserve points, but I feel much more in control and my cravings have about disappeared. I missed my meeting this week so I weighed in at home - at the same time as I would have in my meeting and in the same clothes. I was a full 2 lbs lighter than my initial weigh-in. :)

On another note, I had a meeting with my bosses this morning - after a nasty confrontation over the weekend it was time to clear the air. I was nervous but at peace at the same time. I had updated my resume in preparation for the worst case scenario, and I was ready to face whatever was thrown at me. That meeting would determine the course of my future with this company. Life is just too short to put up with meanness.

Well, I was pleasantly surprised to receive an apology first off. That set the tone - we were able to discuss issues in a productive way, and get some things out on the table that we needed to. So I'll put my resume away and see how the next few months go.

I think it's time to start a gratitude journal. One of my goals is to have a more positive attitude about things - to focus on the good instead of the bad. It's hard, but it does make a difference.

Today I'm grateful for:

(1) That my two almost-grownup kids can still have fun (at this moment they're playing the Guitar Hero that they got for Christmas from my mother-in-law, instead of doing homework)
(2) That I have an awesome husband who backs me up and keeps me sane on a daily basis
(3) That we have a roof over our head, money for the basics and a little more, and that we're healthy, happy, and we can laugh together - in the scope of things, we have everything that we really need, and everything that I've ever wanted.

Day one on WW

I did well today - I really like the Core plan, as opposed to counting points. The foods are all healthy, and lots of what I eat already - when I'm not eating crap. I had oatmeal with protein powder for breakfast, leftover Christmas roast and sugar snap peas for lunch, some soup before I went to the gym, and more leftovers for dinner. I kept my portions in check, and I didn't eat any junk.

Core allows you to eat from a list of healthy foods, and use 35 points as a buffer for other non-core foods throughout the week. My protein powder alone was 2 points, but it's good for me and helps my breakfast stick with me longer. The pasta in my soup was 4 points. My dinner added 5 points, but I worked off 5 points at the gym, so that's a wash.

My biggest challenge is portion control - always has been. I love food and can eat with the best of them - but changing my habits is long overdue. It's time.

Weight Watchers - again...

I've done it. I've joined again. Seeing myself at my highest weight ever is not a pretty thing...and I've been struggling with lack of motivation for a very long time. Was it all the holiday cookies that I ate over the last week? Is it the sunshine that we have today for the first time in about a month? That my clothes don't fit me? I don't know - but it doesn't matter. Today I have a shred of motivation to make some sort of change in my life, so I'm taking advantage of this moment.

I really don't like the rah-rah stuff of WW meetings, but I do need to be accountable and right now I can't do this by myself. Fit by 40 is not going to happen at this rate, so here goes nothing...

College

My baby got his first acceptance letter today - he's officially a college student now - the application deadline isn't until February, but he got his application in in November, and received his acceptance letter already! I'm so proud of him, and happy for him - now that he can relax a bit. This was his first choice - so the pressure really is off. Hopefully he'll start sleeping better, and will be able to enjoy the rest of his Senior year.

It's still sinking in - but I can definitely say that I'm a very proud mom.

A smile

I just came here and read through all my past entries on this blog. I smile at the cycles I've been through over the last few years - the ups, the downs, the reflections, the rants... Nothing really changes, I guess - it just progresses and matures. History repeats itself in one way or another. There will always be bills to pay, floors to clean, children and pets to care for, people to love and people to be angry with.

A lot has happened since my last entry - which was almost a year ago. Last summer was a whirlwind - my son played over 40 baseball games in 2 months and we were constantly on the go. We went as a family to Florida in the fall for more baseball - the kids had never been on a plane - and dolphins swam by them in the ocean - it was a fun four days.

We moved my dad again - this time into an assisted living facility. He had brain surgery in December - came through it fine, but he really can't take care of himself. It's been an adjustment.

We're gearing up for another busy summer - baseball and softball practices have started. Our season was delayed due to a few unwelcome April snowstorms, but things are finally thawing out and Spring may finally be here.

My bike is tuned and ready. I have a new helmet that Mike and the kids got me for my birthday. I'm growing my hair - maybe by the time I'm 40 it will be long. I've gained 20 lbs so I want to get some of that off. Get moving.

Mike is good, the kids are good, the dogs and brandi are good, even the squirrel in the attic is happy - though I wish he would leave. We're healthy, we have jobs, food, and cars. We are blessed.

Starting yet again

Ok - today is the first day of the rest of my life. I'm starting again. I have 11 lbs to lose, and I want to lose fat and gain muscle. I know what I need to do - I just can't seem to find the motivation. I read Marie's article on reframing our mind - our self image - it makes sense. I need to start picturing myself as trim, fit, strong, and healthy.

Today starts day one.

Ahh, the weekend

So it's Friday night - I'm sitting here watching the Sox - both dogs are sleeping, the kids are upstairs, and I'm enjoying another moment of peace. They have been few and far between lately. I actually poured myself a glass of red wine - haven't done that in a long time.

Rocky got out earlier - scooted right past me at the front door. He is not good off-leash - takes off every time. I looked for him, then decided to see if he came back. The kids were worried so we started the car - then the phone rang - it was one of our neighbors - Rocky and their dog were playing. I thanked him profusely and hopped in the car to go retrieve my renegade pooch. Rocky happily jumped in the car and after thanking the guys again, we drove home. Theo was quite worried and gave Rocky a hero welcome.

Amanda's cell phone was dead when I got home from work, so rather than having her with no phone all weekend (at games, etc.) I decided to jump back in the car and take her to the phone store to get it fixed or replaced. That's 40 minutes away in good weather, and we're having what feels like a monsoon. I didn't realize how bad the flooding was until we were halfway there. We made it safely - it turns out that the place that her charger plugs into had a bunch of gunk in it - the tech cleaned it out and got it working again. Saved me at least $30 to replace it - more if she had had to pick a new model. That was worth 1/4 tank of gas.

Sox are winning - I'm so glad it's the weekend. I have 3 months to lose weight before vacation. I can't seem to control my eating - I just have to get back in that mindset. Food is fuel, nothing more. Repeat, repeat, repeat. Repeat again.

My floor is being weird. The laminate that we installed is popping up a bit right outside our bedroom. It goes back down when we step on it, but then goes up again. It's not something that is noticeable, but isn't right - I don't think we can do anything about it. It still looks good.

This weekend's goals: food shopping, find books at B&N on web design, clean a little, exercise a little, rest a little. Nothing too extravagant. Amanda is scheduled to have a game tomorrow if it isn't rained out, and Mike has a car wash on Sunday if it isn't raining. I'll use that time productively.

sox are up 5-1. Keith Foulke just replaced Matt Clement and he almost let in a HR and just let up a double. Thinking they should have kept Clement in...get the phone.

Oh, and my phone just rang - Amanda's game is cancelled tomorrow. What? Nowhere I have to be at the crack of dawn? Woohoo!!